Role Playing Thread

The victor of the second great conflict was Kang (France)

Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Mike on Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:02 pm

ZIS IS WRONG! WRONG! Vith ze hops und barley from Holland und Denmark zis beverage is still too bland. It doesn't pack enough zazz und UMPH! Ve regret deeply zat ze Brewmacht vill need to ga-zer materials from further nations of ze vorld. Ve velcome all of all nations of ze vorld to join us und help in creating such a beverage, such... beauty, zat fighting will be irrelevant (and hopefully impozzible, due to a high alcohol content). I can zink of NU-ZING more peaceful zan un cold delicious brew. Ze German label will bring drunken peace to zis vorld.
Semper Iratus, Motherfucker.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Kodi on Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:02 pm

From the Contessa Linda Kodi of House Savoy, acting Prime Minister as appointed by King Victor Emmanuel III:

Dearest Germany,

...I'd suggest France. They've got wine. England only has tea, and we have pasta.

By the Grace of God and the Will of the Nation of Italy.
-Linda Kodi
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby wevets on Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:48 am

I must offer the deepest apologies on the part of the Russian Foreign Ministry, you see, our new monarch has atrocious...

....

...unique... yes, unique handwriting, and so there was considerable misunderstanding around his note.

It was intended to say "We will never forget the incentive of Havarti on a burger with wine!"

Our new leader, quite the foodie.

In any case, military operations against our Austrian neighbors will cease immediately.

We have concluded a treaty with Austria to keep Galacia demilitarized until the year 1905.

Gratefully,

Nicolas II, Foreign Minister for Vlad I of Russia
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby David Yun on Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:28 am

Switzerland notes that Austria has entered Galacia. Since this treaty was never publicly acknowledged by the Austrians, we cannot determine if Austria broke a negotiated treaty, or if Russia's claim of such negotiations is spurious.

Unless further evidence can come to light, no Treachery Points have been issued.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Kodi on Thu Feb 26, 2009 5:14 pm

From the Contessa Linda Kodi of House Savoy, acting Prime Minister as appointed by King Victor Emmanuel III:

Treacherous French Curs! I'm fortunate that I chose to test your intentions rather than be fooled by your urgings to the east! Know that the nation of Italy shall not stand for your empty promises of peace and unity any longer.

We might be outnumbered, but the soldiers of Italy are brave and cunning. I am declaring a state of war with France. We shall beat back the French fleets and armies from whence they came, and then drive forward until they can no longer threaten Italy! I urge my friends England and Germany to join me and we shall win the day yet.

By the Grace of God and the Will of the Nation of Italy.
-Linda Kodi
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Zeke on Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:38 pm

From the desk of Prime Minister Joshua Masterson of England:
Greetings Contessa Linda Kodi of House Savoy, acting Prime Minister of Italy.

Regarding the recent aggression towards you by the French Mimes. England is willing to escalate its mutual defense treaty with Italy to that of a full alliance. If Italy so wishes for this agreement England will need official confirmation, otherwise our mutual defense treaty will stand as it is currently stated.
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby weather wizard on Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:44 pm

A declaration from President Kang:

France accepts Italy's proposal for conflict. We have been preparing for your incursion into our sphere of influence and will not hesitate to evict you from the western half of the Mediterranean. Your fleet should have stayed in the middle of the Med, well within your own realm of influence. Your attempt to control the Straits of Gibraltar, clearly French domain, will not go unchallenged. Back down now while you have a chance and some sense before our mighty war machine grind your defenses into so much dust. Pay proper recompense and tribute now and the Republic will show mercy.

Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby Kodi on Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:29 pm

From the Contessa Linda Kodi of House Savoy, acting Prime Minister as appointed by King Victor Emmanuel III:

Dearest Minister Masterson of England,

The people of Italy and myself would be grateful for such a fine ally. Please consider this an official confirmation of your proposal.

And to the French Tyrant,

You may play that my act was an incursion, but the other great nations of Europe are not so foolish as to believe that farce. Your movements could only have been aggressive towards me, there is no other explicable purpose! So you see, I cannot ask for peace though it be my desire. I must choose to confront the cannon at my front or I shall have a knife stuck in my back.

By the Grace of God and the Will of the Nation of Italy.
-Linda Kodi
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby David Yun on Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:22 am

[OOC: In order to live up to the terms of the Alliance, England must now Declare War on France and begin to act accordingly.]
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Re: Role Playing Thread

Postby wevets on Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:33 pm

From the desk of
[s]Chief Deputy Sandwichmaker to the Autocrat[/s]
Assistant Foreign Minister
Gordon Ramseyovich


To the Corps Diplomatique:

Our great and powerful Tsar and Patriarch, Vlad I, had a significant medical problem earlier this week when he attempted to taste a sample of the German Brewmeister's newest concoction with a small soupcon of Gazpacho Andaluz. The ale's decolettage was so surprisingly off that our monarch suffered severe cranio-colonic infarction from the shock.

Obviously the Germans did not follow through on our ambassador's suggestion that a light seeding of the yeast with special seaweeds found in the Skaggerak would prove wonderously beneficial to the taste.

Our doctors are currently treating the Tsar and his prognosis is good. Measures are being undertaken to prevent his exposure to dangerous brews in the future, and a special consultant has been hired from London (I forget his name - you know, the fellow with the deerstalker hat and the cocaine habit) to advise our government on the appropriate response.

In other news, we advise the Austrian representative that his surprise attacks will be more successful if he can prevent his soldiers from burning "Bucharest or Bust" in fifty-foot high flaming letters on hillsides in Galacia.

Sincerely Yours,

Gordon Ramseyovich

P.S. I got promoted when it was noticed that the Tsar's note had read "Hapsburg swine" the entire time. Apparently I'm the only one who can be trusted to know that the Tsar likes his burgers with Stilton rather than vile Havarti. The jerks at the Foreign Ministry who reinterpreted the note have been sacked.
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